What impacted you?

5 am. The Child™ wakes up hungry. As I'm standing there changing his diaper while he's sucking down his first bottle of the day, I began thinking about who I am as a father, and who I want him to become. Then I thought about my own father, and how I was raised. And really, as far as truly impactful moments of my childhood go, there are two that stand out in my mind in regards to my father. Two where I can go back to a specific point in time and remember what happened, what was said, and how it changed my perspective at the time.

One of those times was at my paternal grandpa's funeral. I was very young. He died in March of 1990, so I would have only been 6 years old. But despite my young age, and the fact that we didn't really see any of my grandparents more than a couple times a year since we all lived in different states, my grandpa had become my absolute, hands down, favorite person in the world. I loved him in a way that was so different than anyone else, and it was reciprocated. My grandmother often told me of his love for me. How out of all his grandkids, he and I had a special bond. Even a week before her own death 18 years later, she told me again about the twinkle in his eye when he was with me or talking about me. It's hard to handle the death of someone you love so much at only 6 years old. I remember standing there at the funeral, beside my dad and my uncle, and my dad reciting a poem. I don't remember what poem it was, but I remember standing there and knowing that we shared the same hurt. As much as my little world was crushed, and seemingly everything I knew was going to be different, I knew that my dad understood.

That was important.

So today, as I was sitting in the recliner in Robbie's room, feeding him a bottle. I told him about his great grandpa, the man he was named after. I told him about what a kind and patient man he was, and how much he loved me. And I told him that I'm really looking forward to a day when I can introduce him and say "Grandpa, this is my son, named after you. He is kind, and gentle, and a man of God."

-Adam